


Piece of Soul.

by JenCollins



Category: The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Hurt Thomas (Maze Runner), Hurt/Comfort, Letters, Loss, M/M, References to Depression, life after
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 16:20:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29762301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JenCollins/pseuds/JenCollins
Summary: Thomas still needs to learn how to live now that they are free, how to live with what he did. But most of all, how to live without Newt.
Relationships: Newt/Thomas (Maze Runner)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	Piece of Soul.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!
> 
> This is my first ever Newtmas fic!
> 
> I am excited to write for this ship!
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Newt. 

It's been a couple of days since we settled here. 

It's really calm and beautiful. 

Everything is so green and so blue, all colors so vibrant. 

Here's a forest, that's actually green and fully alive, and so many flowers scattered all around. 

It spreads out toward the cliff and an ocean that lay next to it, white waves rushing forward. 

You can see a clear blue sky so wide, it meets the ocean on the horizon. 

The air here is so fresh that it's almost dizzying. 

You would love it here, you really would. 

I can imagine you being in peace here. 

Right now I'm sitting on top of the cliff, my legs dangling over the edge. 

Sun is just rising, coloring everything in soft reddish tones. 

I’m awake so early because I couldn't sleep. Again. 

For the first couple days Minho took full charge, making everything work. Almost like back in the maze. Everyone is trying their best, settling in but we'll manage, so far it's all good. 

For these first days I slept a lot, I guess that now that my body has rid itself from all the adrenaline, it just shut off, letting itself to rest, to recharge. 

But for the last couple days it has gotten harder and harder to sleep. Dreams, nightmares, are creeping their way over, making me startle awake at the smallest sound. 

I try my best to work myself to exhaustion, to pass out as soon as my head hit the makeshift bed. 

But lately it just got harder. 

I can't get you out of my head. I just can't. 

I keep seeing your pleading look, hearing how the gun shooted and the bullet tore into your skull, how your body jerked before falling to the ground. 

I can't get it out of my head, I just can't, it hurts too much and I miss you way too much. 

I keep thinking that I should have tried harder, should have tried more to save you, to keep the pain away from you. 

I wish that I could have done something, I don't know what but just something. 

I'm sorry, Newt, I'm sorry for everything I put you through. 

Oh, Newt. 

Others are waking up, there is a lot to be done so I have to go but it was good to just sit here and talk to you for a bit. 

I wish that we would have had a bit more time... 

☾

Newt... 

It's been months. 

Everything is good. 

Life here is good. 

I still struggle a lot but I keep on trying. I know that you would want me to keep on going, to try my best to have a good life. 

Tonight I couldn't sleep. 

You kept popping into my mind. 

Everything was too much so I went to swim. 

And oh boy, you wouldn't believe how amazing it is to swim in the open ocean in the middle of the night with a full moon shining from above, coloring water in all the shades of blue and silver. 

I swam out there, letting waves crash all around me and then I looked back and I could see you so clearly there, swimming there, chasing me with a big grin spreading over your lips, moon lightning up your whole body, making your pale skin glisten with droplets of water. And your hair, they are shining almost silver. But most of it all, it's your eyes, they shine with happiness and peace. 

It warmed my heart for a moment. 

So I let it consume me, enjoying the warmth and the peace of just being there with you, even if it was just a friction of my imagination. 

But the most important thing there was that in that moment I fully understood that you will always be there for me, that no matter what, you will always be a part of me, part of my heart. 

For the first time, I really think that I will be alright. 

Thank you, Newt, thank you. 

I love you. 

**Author's Note:**

> please tell me what you think!


End file.
